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GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE September, 1989

WE ARE EVERYWHERE

by John Hubert

On May 26, 1989 Denmark became the second country in the world to permit marriages between people of the same sex. Sweden previously approved homosexual marriages with rights equal to those of unmarried heterosexual couples. The Denmark legislation extends these rights.

The new law passed by the Danish Parliament takes effect August 1, 1989, and gives homosexual marriage the status of a "registered partnership" with full inheritance rights and requiring official divorce proceedings for dissolution.

Registered partners, besides automatically inheriting from each other, will have the duty to support each other, will be taxed as married couples, and will have access to the same social services as heterosexual couples.

To qualify for registration couples should have the same address and be of the same sex. Bigamy will not be permitted and divorce proceedings will be the same as for heterosexual married couples. Registered partnerships with foreigners are also permitted.

Ben Hansen of LBL, the 41-year-old Danish lesbian and gay liberation group, says that many of Denmark's estimated 500,000 gay men and lesbians will

probably soon be taking advantage of the new law.

The law was supported mainly by the leftist parties in Parliament and opposed by the state Lutheran Church. The new law does not require the Lutheran Church to bless homosexual marriages and also does not give homosexuals adoption rights. Floor leaders in Parliament said it was necessary to drop these two rights in order to secure passage of the rest of the bill.

LBL has a publication called PAN in Danish and a gay and lesbian switchboard. The telephone number 0113-01-12, and it is open Friday to Monday from 8:00 p.m. to midnight. LBL is active with the International Lesbian & Gay Association (ILGA) as well as the International Lesbian & Gay Youth Organization (IGLYO). You can write to the organization at at: LBL/F48, Knabrostraede 3, Postbox 1023, 1007 Kobenhavn K, Denmark. LBL hopes that its success will lead to more such laws in other countries. Lesbian & Gay International Guest Program

"The Spirit of America" Guest Program is a new concept in international lesbian and gay relations. Based on the "mainstream" guest or host programs to

HEALING OURSELVES

by Fern Levy

Anger As Celebration, Anger As Friend

We usually think of anger as bad, one of the bad emotions like fear or sadness. But feelings aren't good or bad, they just are. And anger, in particular, is neither right nor wrong, good nor bad. Anger is energy anger, in fact, is survival.

Anger is normal. Without feeling, experiencing and expressing our anger, we are left indifferent, blocked, dysfunctional and just plain unhappy. Because it is not our anger that creates our discontents but our stuffing it deeper and deeper year after year.

A friend recently described to me her angry outbursts in her therapist's office. Sensing that most people are terrified of anger, (because it is too close to home) I wasn't surprised to hear that her therapist was having a hard time dealing with her much-needed expression of her old anger (anger at her childhood, parents, family, past relationships, the patriarchy, etc.). We need safe places to be angry we need to express our anger, frustration and fear and be supported in it.

Japanese industry allows its workers free expression of feelings in the workplace. Hold up your hand and someone is asked to replace you. You go to the plant's time-out room where there may be a foam rubber bust of the company president and your immediate supervisor which you may hit to your heart's desire with a bamboo rod.

And some U.S. hospitals have soundproof rooms where hospital workers may go to cry, scream or meditate when needed. Any self-respecting human being in the 20th century needs to cry and scream now and then, if for no other reason than to express outrage at the everyday atrocities in the world around

us.

And any self-respecting gay man and lesbian needs to be expressing anger at the death, dying and profound suffering of our friends, lovers and partners who deal everyday with unthinkable symptoms made possible courtesy of HIV. We also need to express our anger at the oppression and discrimination which follows us around every day of our lives. Every lesbian and gay man lives “a life somewhere along a wide curve of

ancient and unexpressed anger” (Audre Lorde). Anger is normal and natural; to be without it is to be numb. To deaden any of our feelings is to deaden ourselves and to live a life of death. And the denial of anger, in fact, causes even more anger.

It is true that we get angry at ourselves for feeling anger. We need to learn to love ourselves even more in the face of anger, instead of less. As we learn to take responsibility for our anger, to accept it, to soften to it, it will become a positive energy in our lives, even a life-sustaining energy. It is the hardening to it, the denial and the self-loathing, that creates the prison that we all know anger to be, not the essence of anger itself. Whatever remains unexpressed in our lives is what stops healing from happening. Highlevel authentic self-expression is healing; denial is self-negating and is the bottomless pit of suffering.

Verbal expression of anger is one possible mode of self-expression. Talking of it, feeling the pain of it in our bodies, using our voice to express it must be done in a space, an environment that supports it and nurtures it. But talking in a group or in a therapist's office probably isn't enough.

Perhaps we all need a time-out room in our homes where we can go to scream, rant and rave in the privacy of our basements or attics. Where we can beat on an old mattress with a tennis racket. Or punch an old foam rubber pillow. Or maybe a few yells every day in our cars as we drive to work might help. Or better yet, stamping our feet and saying, “No, no, no," at least once a day.

But the best idea might be actually creating a temper tantrum by laying down on your back and moving your feet and hands as children do and saying "No," or protesting "But I don't want to ..." (lose you, be sick, die etc.) These are powerful exercisesplease do them expecting ancient pain to come up and many ancient tears as well. Accept this as healing and know that tears are healing and holy.

And so, anger is a celebration of who we are and the full range of feelings we are capable of authentically experiencing. After acknowledgment and acceptance of our anger, we can learn ways to let go of it, getting soft, and loving ourselves again. Anger is not a demon, it is our friend. ▼

bring people from overseas to the United States to stay with host families, the Spirit of America is aimed at the gay and lesbian community. The program plans to develop a large network of individuals who are interested in being either hosts or guests.

To begin, the program will aim at lesbians and gay men in Europe and Australia who would like to visit the United States on something other than an organized tour; those who would rather stay with "family." Target date for the first arrivals is the fall of 1989.

If you have an interest in being a host, guest, or have any input or suggestions, contact Michael Davis, "Spirit of America," 2223 West Ball Road, Anaheim, CA 92804. 714-535-6847. Transvestites in Malaysia

Malaysia has a new law prohibiting cross dressing, according to "The Newsletter" of Asians & Friends New York. The Islamic country in Southeast Asia allows the Religious Affairs Department to police and arrest such offenders. Two men, wearing skirts and T-shirts and soliciting sex, were arrested in a raid in February to police and arrest such offenders. Two men, wearing skirts and T-shirts and soliciting sex, were arrested in a raid in February and were fined $183 each by the Moslem Religious Court. Under the new law, convicted transvestites can be fined as much as $366 or sentenced to six months in jail. Gay group in Egypt

A gay group in Egypt has been meeting for about two years in private residences. However, due to fear of harassment and arrest, the members feel it is necessary to continue operating underground, restricting opportunities to reach out to other needy lesbians and gays in Egypt and making outside contacts difficult. They can be written to, in

care of the ILGA Information Secretariat, RFSL, Box 350, S-10124 Stockholm, Sweden.

New Lesbian Group in Greece

Lesbians in Thessaloniki, Greece are seeking contacts with other groups around the world to help them build an information base. Books, pamphlets, posters, magazines and newspaper articles will be appreciated. Write to Dora Phillipakopoulou; Kallia Kornelia; Stefanou Tatti 1; GR 54622 Thessaloniki; Greece.

National Newsletter Project for India

The Patna Trikone Chapter in northeast India thanks all readers for their letters and contributions. The national newsletter project is still in progress as more support within India is sought. They are also trying to locate a sympathetic printer for the newsletter. For more information or to offer support, write to Sanjay, Postbox 61; Patna, Bihar 800 004; India.

The headquarters office of Trikone has moved to P.O. Box 21354, San Jose, CA 95151, U.S.A. Their six page bimonthly publication, Trikone, is one of the most interesting and informative publications about lesbian and gay life in South Asia (India, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh, Afghanistan, Bhutan, Burma, Nepal, Tibet and the Maldives).

Subscriptions to Trikone are $10 in North America, $15 overseas, and free for readers in South Asia. For those interested in India, Trikone's February 1989 issue detailed 17 articles about homosexuality in India published in India and the United States all of which are available from Trikone. Trikone regularly features "coming out" stories by lesbians and gay men in South Asia, plus personal ads from South Asians and news of the Trikone Chapters in the United States, Europe and South Asia.▼

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